We all have mixed feelings from our worries during trying times and this can be really bothering such that we can't sleep and can't get the pessimistic thoughts out of our head.
Worrying can be helpful in getting some solutions but the challenge is with stopping it when we need to.
Psychologists submit that chronic worriers are people who share the belief that they need to know with 100% certainty what's going to happen or can't stand unpredictability.
They see worry as a way to predict what's going to happen or control it. All these happen subconsciously most times.
Also, we often worry because of the belief that it makes sense to us. For example, we think maybe we'll find a solution or we don't want to overlook anything or If we keep thinking a little longer, maybe we'll figure it out or we don't want to be surprised or we want to be prepared for the worst or we want to be responsible, etc. The list of the assumptions or beliefs goes on and on.
Some have a hard time giving up on their worries because, in a sense, they seem to have been working for them (yet again another assumption) even though they know it’s harmful to their health.
Beliefs or assumptions add to worry and it’s tough to break a worry habit if the beliefs fueling the thoughts still linger.
In order to stop worry for good, you must give up the belief or assumption fueling the worry and realize that worrying is the problem, not the solution and worrying rarely births the solution.
A worried mind can’t deliver the solution but you can regain the control over your worried mind.
Telling yourself to stop worrying doesn’t work—at least not for long.
Also, you can distract yourself or suppress anxious thoughts for a moment, but you can’t quench the fire for good as long as the fuel (the belief or assumption behind it) is being poured on it.
In fact, trying to do so often makes them stronger and more persistent. This is because it forces you to pay extra attention to the very thought you want to avoid. You always have to be watching for it, and this very emphasis makes it seem even more important.
Constant worrying takes a heavy toll. It keeps us up at night and makes us tense and edgy during the day. We hate feeling like a nervous wreck and yet find it so difficult to stop worrying.
So, don’t try to ignore, fight, or control them like you usually would. Instead, simply observe and question them as if from an outsider’s perspective, without reacting or judging.
What's d possibility of being certain about everything in life?
Is uncertainty always equal to a negative outcome especially from your past experience?
Is it possible 2 live with the negative outcome if at all it happens & r there people who have overcome similar issues?
What’s the evidence that your worrying thought is true or that it’s not true?
Is there a more positive, realistic way of looking at the situation?
How will worrying about my challenge help me and how will it hurt me?
What would I say to a friend who had this same worry?
As u question yourself, pay attention to the way your body feels, the rhythm of your breathing, your ever-changing emotions, and the thoughts that drift across your mind as answers. If you find yourself getting stuck on a particular thought as you question it, allow it to pass and bring your attention back to the present moment.
Also, find the right company that will help you stay positive because how you feel is affected by the company you keep, whether you’re aware of it or not. Studies show that emotions are contagious.
Know who to talk to about your worrying situations that make you panic. Some people will help you gain perspective, while others will feed your worries, doubts, and fears.
Above all, keep faith. Worries don’t always turn real. In fact psychologists say over 70% of worries don’t eventually happen.
If you hold on and don’t allow your worries to overwhelm you, you’ll surely come out of that phase victorious even if the outcome is negative and you’ll look back and laugh at the situation.
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